True friends are hard to find these days. People don’t seem to make time for each other, at least not off line (they seem to have plenty of time to chat with people they’ve never met on the internet). It can seem impossible to find someone to hang out with, and share your heart with. And once you find one, they suddenly disappear when you need them.
So how can you tell if you have real friends or not? Read on to learn more.
A true friend is there when time gets rough.
Have you ever heard the phrase “fair weather friend?” Often, people proclaim that they love their friends and would do anything for them, but as soon as something goes wrong, it seems that they are nowhere to be found. They are a fair weather friend.
A good friend, on the other hand, is there no matter what is going on in your life. They are there when you throw a birthday party, but also alongside you mourning when you beloved dog passes away. They’ll go to concerts with you, but also buy ice cream when you break up with your boyfriend. If you have a true friend, they will be there for you through thick and thin.
A true friend tells you the truth.
If you look fat in that dress, a true friend will tell you. If you have food in your teeth, a true friend will inform you (before you go home and notice it yourself). If you are being unreasonable, a true friend will let you know, no matter how much you don’t want to hear it.
However, that doesn’t mean that a true friend is rude, quite the opposite. A true friend is honest. They want what’s best for you, and they’re not going to lie to you, even if it’s going to make you feel better at the time, or cause less conflict. These are the friends who would help you out of a bad relationship or a drug addiction, rather than just waiting on the sidelines or even enabling your choices.
A true friend builds you up.
A true friend will build up your confidence, and will help you become a better person. They will tell you how cool you are, help you remember your strengths, and make you laugh when you’re feeling down.
They will never tear you down (unless it is to help you become a better person, as stated in the above point). They will give you genuine compliments and encouragement.
It is also important to note that a true friend will say good things about you even when you’re not there. There is a brilliant quote that says “They are not your friends until they have defended you in your absence.”
True friends will let you be yourself.
Around your true friends, you shouldn’t have to put on a facade. If you are goofy, quiet, talkative, smart, silly, etc. a true friend will help you feel comfortable enough to open up. You can talk about your real thoughts and feelings without feeling like you have to hide some part of you. Your “secret self” need not be secret around friends — you can release your inner nerd (or party animal, or philosopher).
A true friend remembers what you tell them.
True friends are great listeners. You are more important than their phone, and when they are talking to you, they will be 100% present. They know when it’s time to talk and when it’s time to listen.
Best of all, a true friend will remember what you said. If you tell them your plans for the weekend, they’ll ask you how it went afterwards (they probably were there for most of it anyway). They’ll remember your current love interest, your favorite TV show, your favorite food, etc. You won’t have to start stories over from the beginning, even if you haven’t seen each other for a long time.
They’ll even call you on your birthday (because of course they know when it is)!
A true friend makes time for you.
Every one of us has a busy schedule, and it seems natural that friends should come and go, but a true friend will take time out of their schedule to make time for you.
They are also true to their word. When you schedule plan, they won’t miss them unless there is an emergency.
If they live far away, they will call you every once in awhile to make sure that you are doing all right. No matter how busy they are, you can count on a true friend to make time for you.
This is all definitely true! I have had a few good friends like this, but they are not easy to find.
So true! Lifelong friends are hard to find but once you have them they are irreplaceable!
These are great qualities of a true friend and if you have one never let them slip away.
Definitely true! True friends are hard to find! If you find one, cherish them.
All of these are true! I had a few very best friends in school, especially high school. We grew apart over the years but found each other again on Facebook. It was like we picked right up where w left off.
This is so true, good friends are hard to find these days! 🙂 I have noticed as a mom of 3 that with all of the jobs and moves, I have lost touch. I definitely need to get in contact with my good friends again!
True friends don’t let you down when they get a new boyfriend.
this is so true !! I had a lot of “friends” but now they are all gone :/
It was easier in years past when people tended to stay put longer, you could develop friendships. Nowadays with everyone working and moving, you can make friends, but it isn’t as often to be able to develop the kind of bond that was more common in years past.
It’s so important to have one or two TRUE friends. It’s nice to know someone is there for you, no matter what. I love my true friends.
so true… i need to be a better friend
Great reminder of how to be a true friend. It’s easy to take friends for granted when life gets busy. True friends apologize and forgive each other, too.
I appreciate your point about a true friend letting you be yourself. When I went to college I met friends who not only didn’t make fun of me if I snorted when I laughed at something really funny, they loved that I did. Getting me to snort at something was considered an accomplishment to be prized!
I’ve had a true friend for over 40 years. She has been at my side through the birth of my daughter and grandson. I don’t know what I would have done without her when my husband passed away.
This is all certainly genuine! I have had a couple of good companions this way, yet they are difficult to discover…
A true friend is one that no matter how much time passes, it’s like it was yesterday when you see her again!
These are all so true! I feel very lucky to have three in my life. Because of distance I see one more than the others but I still talk to all every day