What Makes a True Friend?

True friends are hard to find these days.  People don’t seem to make time for each other, at least not off line (they seem to have plenty of time to chat with people they’ve never met on the internet).  It can seem impossible to find someone to hang out with, and share your heart with.  And once you find one, they suddenly disappear when you need them.

So how can you tell if you have real friends or not?  Read on to learn more.

A true friend is there when time gets rough.

Have you ever heard the phrase “fair weather friend?”  Often, people proclaim that they love their friends and would do anything for them, but as soon as something goes wrong, it seems that they are nowhere to be found.  They are a fair weather friend.

A good friend, on the other hand, is there no matter what is going on in your life.  They are there when you throw a birthday party, but also alongside you mourning when you beloved dog passes away.  They’ll go to concerts with you, but also buy ice cream when you break up with your boyfriend. If you have a true friend, they will be there for you through thick and thin.

A true friend tells you the truth.  

If you look fat in that dress, a true friend will tell you. If you have food in your teeth, a true friend will inform you (before you go home and notice it yourself). If you are being unreasonable, a true friend will let you know, no matter how much you don’t want to hear it.

However, that doesn’t mean that a true friend is rude, quite the opposite.  A true friend is honest. They want what’s best for you, and they’re not going to lie to you, even if it’s going to make you feel better at the time, or cause less conflict.  These are the friends who would help you out of a bad relationship or a drug addiction, rather than just waiting on the sidelines or even enabling your choices.

A true friend builds you up.

A true friend will build up your confidence, and will help you become a better person.  They will tell you how cool you are, help you remember your strengths, and make you laugh when you’re feeling down.

They will never tear you down (unless it is to help you become a better person, as stated in the above point). They will give you genuine compliments and encouragement.

It is also important to note that a true friend will say good things about you even when you’re not there.  There is a brilliant quote that says “They are not your friends until they have defended you in your absence.”

True friends will let you be yourself.

Around your true friends, you shouldn’t have to put on a facade.  If you are goofy, quiet, talkative, smart, silly, etc. a true friend will help you feel comfortable enough to open up.  You can talk about your real thoughts and feelings without feeling like you have to hide some part of you.  Your “secret self” need not be secret around friends — you can release your inner nerd (or party animal, or philosopher).

A true friend remembers what you tell them.

True friends are great listeners.  You are more important than their phone, and when they are talking to you, they will be 100% present.  They know when it’s time to talk and when it’s time to listen.

Best of all, a true friend will remember what you said.  If you tell them your plans for the weekend, they’ll ask you how it went afterwards (they probably were there for most of it anyway).  They’ll remember your current love interest, your favorite TV show, your favorite food, etc.  You won’t have to start stories over from the beginning, even if you haven’t seen each other for a long time.

They’ll even call you on your birthday (because of course they know when it is)!

A true friend makes time for you.

Every one of us has a busy schedule, and it seems natural that friends should come and go, but a true friend will take time out of their schedule to make time for you.

They are also true to their word.  When you schedule plan, they won’t miss them unless there is an emergency.

If they live far away, they will call you every once in awhile to make sure that you are doing all right.  No matter how busy they are, you can count on a true friend to make time for you.